It happens to the best of us. One day you're a semi-performing employee at a "hot" Internet startup going in everyday to do the grind and collect a regular paycheck when suddenly your non-smoking boss asks you if you want to go outside for a cigarette. All seems fine until you see that the department head is outside also. You're going to be laid off.

The good news? You usually get a severance package. Most Internet companies won't fire people straight out unless you've been working really hard towards that end. So what are you going to do with the new found time on your hands? Here's a few ideas.

• Consider that workout routine you've been thinking about. Remember, no one is going to hire a fat slob, no matter what skills you've got.
• Think about getting a dog. If nothing else, something will care about your weeping, you baby.
• You can start to work on that book you've been thinking about. Christ, you could write three, but just because they're written, it doesn't mean they'll be published.
• Musical instruments take up a lot of time that would otherwise be spent crying. Consider the steel drums.
• If you left with bad blood, think about sending in a change of address form for the company and redirect all the mail to another state. The forms are free at the post office.
• The good thing about being in the tech department is that you've got all the passwords. That should consume a lot of time.
• Remember, most bars open at noon for lunch.
• Contrary to popular belief, there is quite a lot of demand for male prostitutes. Consider a new profession.

It's never easy being fired, but with any luck the above tips will help you either pass the time or get you back on your feet and looking for a new job. Things really could be worse. At least this way you've got a few weeks of paid vacation.

- The Staff