There’s a big reason why I play Blood Bowl and Necromunda. And, as someone in the hobby, it’s sometimes hard to admit because you get weird looks. But it’s this: I just don’t have the stamina to paint an army for 40k.
When I do get weird looks, it’s because other people in the hobby look at you and you can see them wondering, “And why not? What else have you got to do?” Like all of our time is spent painting anyway, who cares if its your tenth Blood Bowl team or your fiftieth space marine?
I just don’t have the stamina to paint an army for 40k
But there is a subtle difference and it’s one that even Games Workshop is aware of. It’s why they have boxes like Combat Patrol (and I guess the new Armageddon Battalions). These are smaller forces you can play your first games with instead of purchasing and painting up a full, 2,000 point regulation army. There is an exhaustion factor involved. And, yeah, I might be on my seventh Necromunda gang. But it’s not a variation on the same miniature for the 70th time. I’ve been through six other color schemes, model styles, and play styles. And, more importantly, actually playing games after getting around eight miniatures painted.
So I’m always curious when GW puts out something new in its “book shop” line of games. This began, honestly, with Blitz Bowl, a kind of mini version of Blood Bowl played with half-sized teams and a much simplified version of the rules. But then they put out Warhammer 40,000 Fireteam and my interest was piqued. It was a box that came with some octagonal game boards, cards, dice, and 18 miniatures, five space marines and 13 Necrons.
“Well!” thought I, “This could be interesting!”
And somehow I convinced my wife to get it for me for Christmas because in Germany you can get it at the Thalia book store. Sure, it’s in German, but I’m supposed to be learning German!
When you get the box, it’s actually pretty impressive. The miniatures are, as always, great and a lot of thought has gone into the packaging. For instance, for people who don’t paint their miniatures, the plastic insert in the bottom of the box allows you to hold your miniatures in it by their bases. Doesn’t work as well if you base your miniatures but… that’s not really their fault.
Additionally, the game comes with stat cards for the space marines, and the Necrons… and like four more factions including Orks, guard, Tau, and Eldar and adding each of these to your game is a single box purchase. Now… at the time, each box was €30, so adding all of them means paying twice as much as you did for the original game but… wow! Just like that, this game can be a lot more than just space marines versus robots.
Anyway… turns out, reading a full rulebook in German was a little above my language level. On the upside though, you could download the rules in English for free from their website. So that was nice. And the stat cards were easy enough to figure out. Where things became a problem were the mission cards.
By this point, I’d been taking German for two years and I can read and understand the news, so I’m not some kid who sings Ein Prosit and thinks I’ve got the German necessary for a diplomatic post nomination. But, fuck me! These cards are hard to understand. And they weren’t just hard for me to understand, my wife, a born and raised in Germany, German, struggled with about half of them. And this was kind of the end of it for me and this game.
… adding all of them means paying twice as much as you did for the original game but… wow!
I get it, it can be challenging to learn a game in another language, most of the people I play in Necromunda are forced to do so because the rule book is only published in English (unlike, say, Blood Bowl). But, once you have the core mechanics down, you really only need to check into the wording of a skill now and then, the uncommon trait of an uncommon weapon, or the text of a tactics card. And while GW isn’t always known for clarity in their rule writing, at least in English these seem to be mostly understandable to people who don’t read in English for pleasure.
But when there’s a core mechanic of the game, in this case objective cards, that are almost impossible to read even for native speakers, well… that’s a problem!
And the irony is that I really wanted to like this game! I painted up the Orks, Tau, and guard just to have them as options. And I still hold onto the game in the hopes that maybe… maybe the cards might click with me and it becomes playable? But when other people tell me they don’t make sense, it says there’s a bigger problem than my inability to speak a second language.
Would I recommend? If in English… maybe. If in German, hard no.
